Saturday, January 29, 2011

Lesson from Fahmy..

By time I'm writing this post, I'm at my uncle's house in Taman Mutiara Gombk now, waiting to go home on Sunday with them.My uncle's  family consists of 5;his wife and him, two daughters and an oldest boy who is 5, Fahmy Aiman.

Fahmy is the kind of  by who's on his age, speaks things out loud without having to think of the consequences. And that's why I dislike most of them, spite their wilderness.

So, he begged me to watch movies which are piling up in my laptop (I love movies) after the lunch. I showed him a couple of movies but he don't want. Then, I opened the How I Met Your Mother folder and showed him the 10th episode, which I'm in marathon to finish it.

After 2 minutes, suddenly he said,'Tak nak la cerita nieh... Nnti Ami malu mcmana..' And I was stunned.

Even the boy at his age knows what it means to be ashamed of looking at a woman's aurat,what about me?
It's not that that series showed much of overrated nudity, but still, he has been educated in that such manner, enough to make me sit by myself, thinking of what I've done in my entire life...


Friday, January 21, 2011

Susah Nak Jadi Baik........

(Read this by qindIy repIacing K with Q. My Iappy is having compIication in producing this Ietter)

As this post written, I've just finished my theatre practice which I personaIIy say wretched. It was me, of course. I've done so many mistaqes and qeep repeating the same aII over again. I actuaIIy pity our mentor, Kak Dil (?) and aIso Afiq who's been very patient in repeating the same Iines aII over again.  Oh yeah, I've been casted as a repented Das who's trying to amend his mistaqes towards his son, who's a rebeI and God qnows what's going on in the sturdy head of his.

Honestly speaqing, this is the first time I honored by such character. OId, qind, and very patient. Maybe this is a big turnover in carving history of my own in this field. Just maybe.

My first roIe in stage art was as a..... MOUSE! Yeah... a mouse. It was a Japanese sketch and I was the chief of aII mouses who heIped an old farmer to become a wealthy man after he gave us Omosubi which is a Japanese round rice. Thanks to Sum Sensei for introducing me to this wonderful world of art. hahaha...

As many years passed by, the number of roles I've done was increasing, rapidIy, I think. But this.... This is different from before. FirstIy, I've to be an oId man. That is superhard! Physically, maybe you can put on some powder, line me with eye-shadow, make me an archaically superficial reflection of an old man. But inside, huarrrggghhh!!!! This is admitted by the mentor herseIf, quoted "Jaga expression muka sebab you're too young to be an old man" . And I honestly think she meant to say "Too cute too". hahahhaha

Secondly, this is a kind, patient, non-yelling-character we're talking about. For all my years in this act, this kinda role is what I feared so much. For one, I like to move around, touches things, hit people, talk vulgar, which I enjoy exceIIently in bad, nasty antagonis. As a dad, I dun get many of this, except the part when I slap Afiq on the face and it feels  GOOOD! haha.... Sorry Afiq, len kali x buat dah.

But it's Ok. It's the time for me to learn something new, something fresh from awesome people. Let's just hope we can do this right and please do come to Main Auditorium this 14th February. Yeah, on the VaIentine Day.

That's aII... TQ. =) 

Monday, January 17, 2011

Last Night

Since the death of my grandfather, I could barely sleep tight. I often woke up at 3am dreamed about him. But last night was different. It was not a dream of him that kept me awake. What is it? I don't know. You tell me.

I went for sleep at 11pm. Pretty early for a boy, huh? But the dinner drove me drowsy. At the evening, Hanaphin told me of there's someone knocked on the door the night before, but Fikri told him not to open it. That was the night when I went back home.

I woke up in the middle of the night and looked at my handphone, something I always do whenever I wake up. It was 2am and I was still sleepy. Somehow, my head denied my need to sleep so I kept in the awake-sleeping-nirvana like condition for a moment. That was before I heard someone knocked on the door. Trapped in the nirvana, I went for the door, forgot about what have been told by Hanaphin in the evening.

As soon as I opened the door, (I assumed it was Hanaphin 'cause he always do that), I went back to my compartment and lied there with pillows covering my head -my favourite sleeping position. 

Suddenly, my hand which was waving near the locker caught something. It was a cloth and it felt like the fabric used for making tracksuit. Smooth, silk-like. I tried to open my eyes but I couldn't. I tried to move but my body was paralyzed. There's nothing came out from my mouth even I was screaming inside. I tried to read everything I knew but it was useless. Nothing came out and I couldn't see anything. Till then, I decided to stay on 'Allah' only. After many trials, then I was released.

I reached out for my keys and search for my wallet. Lucky enough, nothing was gone. My laptop was there, my wallet too. It took nothing.

This evening, I told Fikri about this and he told me that this kind of accidents have always happened here occasionally. Most of the times, it was the black guys. No I'm not trying to be racist nor prejudice, no Lillahi. But that was what I was told.

What confused me is that if that's really human, why didn't he take anything?
If it wasn't human (mintak jauh), what does it want from me?
If it just a nightmare, it must be really real 'cause I remember the details very well and the fright is still with me till now. 
What is it then? Wallahualam. If you aren't going to believe this, that's ok. I'm just telling you and I got nothing to lose. But I know what I've gone through yesterday, and it might happen to you too.
Pray before you sleep. Shut the window tight and DO NOT OPEN the door when it's 2pm and above. Who knows what's waiting on the other side of the door.

Till then, Wasalam...

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Life Without You.. (Tribute to Arwah Tokki)

It has been 4 days since you left us, Tokki, and there's nothing I crave more than seeing your smile just one more time. I wish you could've been here seeing the thing I've become, a mess. Then you could give me some words of advice, told me how to become a better man, how to manage my life. Living with you was just a breeze. I'm not yet become the man I wanted to be. I need you by my side, just like the old days when I stayed with you. You taught me how to ride a bike, climb trees at your orchards, swim at the river just at the back of the house, and read the Quran.

Adik Noh has entered the pra-school yesterday, Tokki. He reminded me a lot of the times when you accompanied me to register at one in the village, and I played all day long with Tok waiting outside.

Let me tell you how I faced the day after you left, Tokki. The night you were gone, Long woke me up from sleep at 3am and Mak hugged me tightly murmuring that you were gone. But it didn't hit me as hard as when Tok walked to me as soon as I went out of the room. She embraced me tightly, and then I realised, you weren't there anymore. The day I faced was hard, but I didn't show it to the others, though they knew the fact that our relationship is more than flesh and blood. It's more than that....

The day after your burial, I've had an headache, probably from crying too much, so I slept a lot. But the mess I've become is no more to compare with Mak Dah. She refused to take a bath, barely eat and spent the day crying in the room over you. She misses you so much, Tokki. A week before you went, as you were in the hospital, she took one of your  picture and touched you face in it, while tears were dropping from her eyes.

 Mak Dah

After Anjang sent me to this IIUM, I've done everything I could from feeling alone. I went to Times Square alone, wandering in the crowd by myself, avoiding the truth that you were gone. I accept the fact, yes I do. But losing you is more than just accepting the fact. Losing you is losing a huge part of my life which I ever live on. You're not just a grandfather, you're my father and I love you more than Ayah, you knew that.

Rest there in peace, may Allah bless you InsyaAllah. You have been there safely, and our turn is yet unknown. Wait for me there, Tokki. We'll meet again InsyaAllah.......

Tokki and Ecu...